Years ago, my dear friend Charlotte brought over a bottle of wine. The label read, “The Owl and the Dust Devil.” For some reason I’ve kept this empty bottle for years on a shelf in my bar at home, wondering about the label and appreciating the memory of a night filled with laughter and joy with one of my oldest friends. It’s not like me to keep things like this around, and the other day it occurred to me that the idea of it was playing out within me and before me.

In creative writing it’s often said that the protagonist has to want something or there is no story, no tension. But what happens to us when we are always wanting, looking outward, yearning for more? I have had times in my life when I didn’t want anything because my truest desires were unreachable – to see my mother again, for my marriage to return to normal. I wanted those things with such an ache, and yet I knew they were impossible. To want nothing was safer, less vulnerable.

To want can sometimes feel like a dust devil, spinning out of control. To accept and appreciate the truth of the present moment, the owl. How to reconcile these two energies so that we can stay present to life and also have forward momentum in the direction of our dreams? Maybe it is a matter of looking so deeply inward that we only want for what is really meant for us, a calm and excited synergy that pulls us forward almost without our say so.

Something overtook me in early December, dust devil energy, the deep desire to shake up my life. It was as though my heart begged to not have a doldrum winter. I committed to playing, enjoying, and feeling present – with my horse, a refreshed focus on enjoying alone time, more outdoor adventures and putting my heart more deeply into work. This fresh energy woke me up in ways I hadn’t felt in years, but it was also a little unsettling, harder to stay calm, hard to settle in at night and feed myself, like I didn’t exactly know how to harness it.

I began to ask for owl energy to return, a quiet request from my heart that hadn’t taken total shape in words or feelings, a quiet calling out from some unknowable place within.

The other night, I was leaving the restaurant, walked out a front door I’ve walked through hundreds of times either as a customer or as an employee, and I heard the strong and steady cooing of an owl across the street. I didn’t think much of it, got in my car and headed home. The next day a customer walked in and asked if we knew there was an owl next door. With a few inquiries I discovered that everyone on staff heard it regularly, and it has been there since early last summer. How had I never heard it? Why did it come to me just this week? I have heard it again many nights now and feel deeply comforted by its fresh presence in my life, a sweet goodnight as I make my way home after a long shift.

Two days later I had a client at the barn. We decided to have our session outside with the horses, among deep drifts of snow and sunshine because it was warmer than the barn. It was beautiful and grounding for both of us, as is the case in gestalt sessions. At some point, I had my client pull a card from one of my favorite decks, and she pulled the Bee Spirit card – a beautiful message about finding and treasuring the sweetness of life.

After the session I returned to my indoor healing space, a place where magical things tend to happen, a place I feel extra connected to my spirit guides and ancestors. I thought, why not pull a card. I do this sometimes to bring closure to my own heart, body, mind and spirit after a session.

Without looking, I shuffled the deck and blindly pulled a card. I pulled the Owl Spirit Card and had a quiet moment of appreciation for the connectedness of all things.

“Even in the darkest night, the owl sees clearly and is guided by every sense it has, including the first sense of intuition. Owl Spirit reminds you to be wise and pay attention to what’s between the lines, what is invisible to the naked eye, what cannot be heard with the ears, and what others may not be able to perceive. With all your senses aroused, you have much knowledge available to you. Clarity will come as you sit with all that you are sensing, allowing your intuition to guide you in understanding the whole and not just the parts. Let your wisdom arise and be your guide as you trust the acuity of all your senses.”

What messages are needing to be looked at? What needs to be seen more clearly for what it is? I’m not sure yet, but what I do know is that I can feel the calm owl energy return to my body, bit by bit, tempering the high frequency of that wild little dust devil, feet on the ground, mind in the stars … a sweet return to a sense of balance and life a little brighter.

The Spirit Animal Oracle by  Colette Baron-Reid