Lately I’ve been taking clients into the round pen with Magic, and it’s been fascinating to watch what happens. How he behaves, how we behave, the connection between the two. Sometimes I find myself almost overwhelmed by the amount of information I can share with those that enter the round pen with us – mentions of what pressure means to a prey animal who for some reason allows us, one of the ultimate predators, to partner with them. Why do horses let us anywhere near them?

Pressure exists when we’re working with horses in so many forms. The further you get into the subtleties of horsemanship, all of a sudden it becomes crystal clear that our eyes on them is pressure. Our mere gaze as predators has so much energy. We must honor that power with great grace to partner with horses softly. Add to that hand cues and whips … these tools must be wielded wisely if we want to gain real trust and a real relationship with our majestic friends.

When we step into the round pen, one of the most basic systems at play is the concept of Drive and Draw – a dance between the human and the horse that takes on a life of its own. We can push a horse into forward movement with pressure and body language, but what happens when we take that pressure away? If we have set up trust in earnest, the horse will draw towards us. It’s one of the most incredible feelings, a thread of connection from a distance, no ropes, all energy pushing and pulling from a distance. Stay in Drive for too long, and you will have lost the trust and connection of the Draw – too much extended pressure. Stay in Draw for too long, and you will have a horse in your lap and no room for communication. 

How do we get what we want when we’re in the round pen? We communicate clearly, without question. If we aren’t clear in our minds and in our bodies, the horse will have no clue what we’re asking. We also have to be willing to give and take so that the dance between us stays in flow. Sure, you could get into the round pen, apply a ton of pressure, scare your sweet friend into submission – that can happen. But what does that say about your relationship? You are demanding rather than asking, forcing rather than suggesting. It may work in the moment, you may get what you wanted. But what do you walk away with? An empty relationship, a terrified animal, no trust and little true connection.

These principles are amplified in the round pen, but they’re at play in every interaction we have with our horses. It begins at the gate. How do we enter into their homes when we first arrive? Are we open to allowing the lessons and the relationship to unfold however it needs to for that day or are we task driven and rigid? I like to have a loose plan and then see what Magic has in mind. He never lets me down. The lessons unfold and the partnership deepens, from the moment I get to the barn. If we can show up with our hearts and minds open, what sweet miracles are we making room for?

I continue to be amazed as I grow in relationship to horses at how the lessons they teach us are a mirror for ourselves and our human relationships. As a client said to me yesterday, “Wow, you really have to be true in yourself with them.” She is brand new to horses but sensed this very quickly. Horses can be our greatest teachers if we’re willing to listen.

If you’re new to horses but curious about horsemanship lessons you can learn more Here.